I am sorry ...

I  am sorry I wasted your time and money; I am sorry I was not as per your expectations; I am sorry I still love you; I am sorry I fought for you; I am sorry I thought we were inseparable; I am sorry I hurt you loving more; I am sorry I shouted on you; I am sorry I always understand your love behind your anger and thought the same in return; I am sorry I hurt myself in love; I am sorry for every moment when I crave for you; I am sorry I can’t forget you; I am sorry I wanted to marry you; I am sorry I messed up your life; I am sorry that i cry for you; I am sorry I remember every moment I spent with you; I am sorry I waited for you knowing you will never come back; I am sorry I devoted myself to you; I am sorry I still miss you; I am sorry I don’t just understand that you have moved on in your life; I am sorry I can’t live without you; I am sorry everything hurts me without you; I am sorry I thought you will pick me up when you will find that I am falling apart; I am sorry I thought you will miss me; I am sorry I thought you will remember my all silly things I did just for you; I am sorry I thought you will never leave me because I never left you; I am sorry I thought you won’t give up on me because I never gave up on you; I am sorry I thought you will forgive me knowing the fact that I am not perfect.

          I am sorry I thought if I beg and plead then your heart will melt after seeing me in pain; I am sorry I thought that I do matter to you; I am sorry I am hurt; I am sorry I thought you are my life; I am sorry I have no regret for betraying you; I am sorry I thought my tears will matter to you; I am sorry I thought if we both are crying, you will wipe my tears first; I am sorry I thought you will remember how much I loved you; I am sorry I thought you will understand, I want everything perfect just for you; I am sorry I thought I can’t be replaced because I didn’t think you would be replaced in my life; I am sorry I thought you will hold my hand when I am trembling; I am sorry I thought you understand how much I love you when I run behind you; I am sorry I thought people can’t influence you; I am sorry I thought you will forgive me when I show you my scars and say sorry; I am sorry I thought my apologies and good intentions matter to you; I am sorry I thought if I open my heart and show you my wounds you will hug me and erase the pain and heal them; I am sorry I thought you will say you hurt me but we both loved each other and you can’t stay without me so I am here for you and I love you too.

          I am sorry I thought I can rest on your shoulders and cry and tell you I am tired; I am sorry I never thought you will leave me because I don’t chose anyone else over you; I am sorry I thought you can’t live without me as I can’t live without you; I am sorry I thought my words mattered to you; I am sorry I thought if when I need you, u will be there and you will feel my pain and see that I am hurt; I am sorry I thought you will find me struggling for you; I am sorry I thought we will weather any troubles in our relationship; I am sorry I showed you how weak and helpless I am without you and I thought that you will save me; I am sorry I thought you’ll understand that I loved you more than anything and am all alone without you; I am sorry I thought you will care for me when we both are hurt; I am sorry I thought you will save me from being insane; I am sorry I thought it’s you and me against the world; I am sorry I have no one without you; I am sorry I thought you understand that I keep running behind you; I am sorry I have lost my mind; I am sorry I love you so much that I feel like killing myself due to the pain…

                                                                      

                                                               I AM SORRY! :(

Being Single ...

Most of us, including me, would like to enter into another (or first) meaningful relationship. The key word here is meaningful. We need to be comfortable with who we are, and with being alone, before we go searching for a partner in life.

               Before we start a meaningful relationship, we have to learn to like ourselves. Until we can do that, we wouldn't be able to love someone else. If we want real love, then we need to have enough self-confidence, and self-respect to unconditionally accept the other person for who they are. That doesn't mean we have to be conceited, just that we respect, and trust ourselves, while accepting the fact that we aren't perfect and we can never be that perfect as we desire. A side benefit to this is that we will be more relaxed, and comfortable around other people, and so are more likely to attract members of the opposite sex.

               Being alone is not necessary a bad thing. The general consensus seems to be that if we are alone, we must be lonely, but the two are not the same thing. If you are divorced, separated, or have ended a good relationship, then think back, weren't there times that you wished you where single, because the relationship was preventing you from doing some of the things you want to do. So, now is your chance to do them. Whatever it is that you felt your relationship was stopping you from doing, you are free to do now. There's nothing stopping you. Sure, you may have financial obligations, and maybe children to consider, but the point is, while we are single we might as well take advantage of it, and learn to be comfortable with it.

               If we can be comfortable with being alone, and with who we are, the next section will probably take care of itself, but I'll touch on it anyway. We have to be careful not to search too desperately for love, but instead we should just be open to it. Don't fall in love with being in love! Let's enjoy being single. We can go on dates, make new friends, and just go out, and have a good time, without expecting everyone we meet to fall in love with us, or even want to date us. Accept people for who they are, and just enjoy their company. Eventually we'll meet that someone special.

               It's especially tempting after a breakup to go out and find someone else to love. That's like getting a new puppy to replace the one that got ran over by a truck. Don't do it! If friendship develops into something more, that's great, but be careful not to use someone to fill the emptiness you might feel now. That type of relationship is almost guaranteed to fail.

               It may seem like I'm saying that we should avoid relationships altogether. That's not the case, what I'm trying to say is that, we need to be content with ourselves so that we avoid getting into a relationship that's based on something other than love.

               OK, now that we've accomplished that, how do we go about finding the perfect match? Where can we find this person? The usual advice seems to be at malls, libraries, bars, and any other place that has a lot of people. Unfortunately even if our perfect match is at these places when we are, odds are against us meeting them. Instead take dance classes, join a club, take a course, or just about anything that you might be interested in, as long as it includes other people. Put yourself in a situation that's going to enable you to meet people with similar interests, and at the very least you'll make some new friends. Don't do these things with the sole intention of finding someone to fall in love with, instead use it as an opportunity to have some fun, and make new friends as truly said by someone, “Enjoy your life as much as you can till you are single, because becoming single once again is very painful.” J

Broken... yet living...

This piece of writing goes out to all of the people who have been broken but have been strong enough to let go and still live. This is for those people who have been hurt so badly that they felt that they could never love again, but kept their head up; who learned from their mistakes and never stopped moving forward, even when they took two steps back.

This is for those people that wish loneliness wasn’t a part of them, but put up with it anyhow and who are okay with taking up all of the room in the bed, even if it sometimes feels a little empty; for the people who wake up in the morning with no missed calls, but smile anyway; for the people who periodically miss the past, but are so much more excited for the future; for the people that have wounds still healing; for the people that have so much tied to their past relationship, but break those chains to start fresh.

I write this for those people that want to look back so badly, but focus on the road ahead; for the people that pick up the phone and are tempted to call, but keep their dignity intact instead; for the people that never wanted to let go, but had to; for the people that still believe in love even after all of the hurt their heart has endured; for all the people that gave up not because they were weak, but because most times, it’s better just to let go and for the people who are just like me and who have been through the worst of the times…

 We all will get our happy ending someday.  Someday all our wishes will come true and someday we’ll be happy like we have never been before! :)