What was my fault??

I am sitting alone in this little drizzle and starless night on a cold bench. The rain seems to be compensating to the silent tears falling off from my eyes. Life, actually has changed drastically after he left me alone in this strange world where I seem to be so lonely and alone without a single soul understanding me. Although he promised me that he would forever be there for me by my side; understand my feelings; forgive all my faults but all he did was leaving me alone without fulfilling those promises.

                    "What was my fault..??" , This is the only question which pops up in my mind every now and then; which runs through my thoughts every time I sit alone trying to remember the times we spent together. "Was our love so weak? Were all those promises meant to be broken??" I ask myself but am left unanswered. All I can do now is just try and accommodate myself to this present situation; where I am so lonely and alone; where I find no one to listen to my wails. It is not easy; in fact it is the toughest task I had ever done but still I know that I have to live, for myself, for him.

                      Unable to stop my tears falling off, I shut my eyes close for them to flow off. This feeling is not wanted because it tears me apart; it tears that broken heart into small pieces but then something around me seems to change; my mood changes and I see him standing some feet away from me and slowing calling "Shona, I'm here for you baby..." He comes closer; close enough for a hug and hugs me tight. My tears flows more rapidly with this heart warming hug and wets his shirt. He asked me to stop crying and gently wipes those tears off. The hug melts me in those strong arms and I feel safer than I had ever been before. He comes more close while his lips tends to be touching mine. I find myself in loss of words to express my feelings. He holds me tight from my waist and gently caresses my lips with his own. He tries to bite my lips slowly. I open my eyes to find him staring at me lovingly. He whispers, "I am sorry baby; I am always with you even if you don't find me present physically; Please stop crying". He wipes off my half tried tears and kisses my forehead.

                      It just feels so good to be in his arms again. I find all those memories reviving again and it seems that life is at track again. This feeling, truly, is so much better than the loneliness that I have been suffering from in the past days. He holds my hands and we sit together in the cold bench. We keep talking as I rest my head on his shoulders. A drop of tear escapes my eyes. This was the tear signifying our reunion. But he catches that midway and tells me never to cry again as he would be with me forever. I lean myself more onto him while he embraces me lightly. I don't know when sleep overtakes my tears but I wake up to the touch of his lips on my cheeks.

                      But, as soon as I open my eyes, I find no sign of him around me. he wasn't there embracing me and kissing me; I find myself in that starless night alone with no soul around me. I realize that it had all been a dream; a heart throbbing dream which, I knew, would never be true;  a dream which existed only in my memories and it was something which had no similarity with the reality.

                      Yeah, he had actually gone away for his own happiness; he had gone away to live his own life and I was just left alone in my own little world which was so full if emptiness. My life had just become a hell with his departure; but I was so sure within myself that I could never forget his touches and his embraces. My life could never be that happy and cheerful again without him in it.

                       Crying loudly to relieve myself of this pain, all I could once again ask myself was. "What was my fault...???" </3 :(